Patchwork

              Actor Jimmie Steward has been credited for saying, “After age seventy, it’s patch, patch, patch.”  You have probably heard this before.  I know that I have.  Different ages have been suggested like “After age sixty , it’s . . . “ or “After age eighty, it’s . . . “  And  I believe there is some truth to this adage.  As we age, many of us are putting aids in our ears, “patting” our loss of hearing, or buying spectacles or sitting in a dentist chair “patching” our eyesight or teeth. Some of us use a cane or a walker to “patch” because our balance is not so good, or our legs don’t support us like they used to.

              However, I want to take this “patch” word a little further and suggest we need to “patch” our relationships if they have become ragged.  For example, many years ago, I said something that really offended a fellow teacher at Anderson High School.  I apologized profusely, but she would not accept my words.  She was truly upset. I can still remember coming home that day, feeling terrible, wondering what I could do to “patch” things up between us.  As a result, I could not sleep that night.  My mind was churning as I mentally kicked myself for what I had said and also I mourned the loss of a friend.  What a surprise when the phone rang late that evening.  It was my “lost friend “saying that after she got home, she decided she had over reacted to what I had said.  And she apologized to me!

              I have never forgotten the relief I felt, a real joy that we had “patched” our relationship.  We have remained friends over the years even though she moved to another state when she retired from teaching.  We keep in touch through phone calls and notes.  I am convinced that most of us are “people” people and we need each other, so I believe that when a personal relationship falters, it needs to be “patched” up as soon as possible.

                            Not only do personal relationships need “patch” work, families do also.  My husband’s youngest sister and her husband live in Nevada.  They had the personal tragedy losing their only son because of a heart attack before he reached the age of fifty.  This man and his wife had brought five children in to the world, five grandchildren still in the home for my sister-in-law to love, care for and help raise

Something happened between the new widow and her father-in-law.  We live too far away to really know the details, but we do know that the two families completely smashed any kind of mutual love, respect or communication they had once shared.  It has been at least twenty-five years since there has been any kind of fellowship between them.  The five children have obviously grown by now and my sister-in-law never had the joy of knowing and loving these grandchildren. 

What a tragedy!  Those two families have never reconciled, never “patched”  their lives together.  My husband tried to help bring them together, but it did not work.  I am convinced that life is too short and families are too important for this to ever happen. 

Yes, we do need to “patch” our bodies as we grow older to live healthy lives, but I also believe we need to keep our “patching” ready to repair and protect our personal and family relationships.